… not that I don’t understand them but after a long day at work staring at numbers and percentages and the blubber heads on tv are talking in NOTHING BUT numbers and percentages, I tend to glaze over and search for a Project Runway rerun.

Anyway.. my husband usually explains it to me this way:

YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING ON A BED, SHEET AND PILLOW THAT WERE TAXED.. BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH TOOTHPASTE THAT WAS TAXED, USING THE WATER THAT’S ALSO TAXED.. YOU DRIVE TO WORK IN A CAR THAT WAS TAXED USING GAS THAT’S TAXED. YOU WORK FOR 8 HOURS AND HAVE YOUR PAYCHECK TAXED THEN DRIVE HOME FROM WORK USING MORE TAXABLE GAS. iF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE COOKING (SODA IS TAXED!) AND WANT TO EAT OUT OR HAVE SOMETHING DELIVERED.. THAT’S TAXED. YOU SIT DOWN ON FURNITURE THAT WAS TAXED WATCHING CABLE OR USING THE INTERNET THAT’S TAXED. DON’T YOU THINK WE’RE TAXED ENOUGH?

Good point, huh? My husband’s awesome.

But the other morning I was driving to work and heard this on the radio and thought it was cool so I found it on the net and figured you might like it just as much:

Suppose that every day, 10 men go out for beer and the bill for all 10 comes to $100.00. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

• Man 1, 2, 3 and 4 (the poorest) would pay $0.00
• Man 5 would pay $1.00
• Man 6 would pay $3.00
• Man 7 would pay $7.00
• Man 8 would pay $12.00
• Man 9 would pay $18.00
• Man 10 (the richest) would pay $59.00

So, that’s what they decided to do.

The 10 men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beers by $20. “

Drinks for the 10 now cost just $80.00

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so Man 1, 2, 3 and 4 were still unaffected. They would still drink for free.

But what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the $20.00 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share”? They realized that $20.00 divided by 6 is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then Man 5 and Man 6 would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce eaxh man’s bill by roughy the same amount and he proceeded to work out the amounts each would pay.

• Man 5 (like Man 1, 2, 3 and 4) would now pay nothing (100% savings)
• Man 6 now paid $2.00 instead of $3 (33% savings)
• Man 7 now paid $5.00 instaed of $7 (28% savings)
• Man 8 now paid $9.00 instead of $12.00 (25% savings)
• Man 9 now paid $14.00 instead of $18.00 (22% savings)
• Man 10 now paid $49.00 insted of $59.00 (16% savings)

Each of the 6 was better off than before and the first four continued to drink for free, but once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared Man 6. He pointed to Man 10, “but he got $10″.

“Yea, that’s right, ” proclaimed Man 5. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got TEN times more then I.”

“That’s true!” shouted Man 7. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only 2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled Man 1, 2, 3 and 4 in unision. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”

The 9 men surrounded the 10 man and beat him up!

the next night, Man 10 didn’t show up for drinks, so the 9 sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something very important.. they didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half the bill!

And that’s just how our tax system works! The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier!